I myself feel a great loss. I have a great deal of respect for the kind of person he was and the way he lived his life. He loved his work, which is so uncommon these days. He loved his family. He loved his free time. Tennis, amateur photography, gardening, fixing things, learning, teaching, and just enjoying life everyday. He adored his grandchildren, and it pains me a great deal to know that my children won't remember knowing their grandfather. I think it is this that I am having the most trouble with. They will hear of him everyday, however. I do find solace in believing that he is up there looking down on us, and I feel a great comfort that he is especially looking over Dylan. We all love Dylan so much, but his grandfather had a special place in his heart for him. Dylan was his shining star. He was completely heart-broken when we told him the diagnosis, and it was he who spear-headed our efforts to gather any and all information we could to try and make him better. I know he is pulling hard for him up there, and there is no better person to speak to God on behalf of Dylan than my father-in-law.
Michelle and her mom, as expected, are completely devastated. Uncle Paul is hurting as well, however he has been incredibly strong throughout. I'm just trying to be there for each of them as they need me, as are Michelle's grandmother, aunt, uncle and cousins, my parents, Nick's sisters, and family friends. There is so much support in this family...it's truly amazing to see. I know that my father-in-law would demand that we stay strong for Dylan. I know he would say that regardless of what happens, Dylan is our priority right now and we need to do everything we can to make him better. I hear him. And he is absolutely right. So we go on, remembering Grandpa D for the incredible person that he was, and also staying strong and focusing on the task at hand as he would've demanded.
Nick's friend and colleague, Harold C, was also supposed to speak at the mass, but unfortunately the church now frowns upon too many speakers (something about taking too much time) and so Harold's eulogy went unheard. I am placing it here as a tribute to Grandpa D, as Harold's tribute should be heard.
Memories of Nick (by Harold C, Nick's friend and colleague)
I found it very difficult to find any words to say today. Losing a person like Nick D so suddenly is a shock. What is even worse is that his family is facing another challenge in that Nick & Ninette’s grandson, Dylan, was diagnosed with a serious brain tumor in January. In that time Nick has been their rock... as he usually is in all he did.
In the past two months, Nick’s primary concern was Dylan. Now it seems that he is not here to help...but he is now “up there” to help... and we can be assured he will.
We will miss him… really miss him. He was one of those people that touched many lives and all those who came in contact with him will never forget him.
Nick and Ninette were married for 35 years and every one of those years was a happy one. I remember a line from the movie Shenandoah... a young confederate soldier was asking a father if he could marry his daughter. The father asked... “Do you like her?” The soldier answered, “Of course I love her”...to which the father replied “I didn’t ask if you loved her, that’s obvious, do you like her”? That’s what makes it all last. Nick and Ninette were friends as well as man and wife... it was obvious to everyone who met them.
In the hectic business world, many of us gravitate to the demands of work and tend to put the family in second place, hoping that financial success will correct everything later. Nick was always a FAMILY man first... but he also achieved both professional and financial success. He had things in the right order and he also had a wife who helped him. He worked at ITT for 37 years and rose to be one of the most competent and respected people in his profession. He formally retired from ITT in 2002, but has been working there as a consultant since then. It is not easy to let a person like Nick get away. Apparently, God needed him too.
These days everything seems to be in a big rush. People are darting around to get things done as fast as possible so they can get to the next item on their agenda. They sometimes forget the basic values and the real goals. I found an anonymous essay entitled “Live a Life That Matters”. I will read you just a small part of it...but as I do...think of Nick’s life
What Really Matters in Our Lives
• Not just success but significance
• Not what you learned but what you taught
• Not what you got but what you gave
• Not just competence but character
• Not how many people you knew but how many will remember you
• What matters then is how long you will be remembered... by whom... and for what
Hold on to your memories of Nick. Years from now, look back and smile because we all have something precious. We had the privilege to know a truly great person.
Below are some pictures of Dylan with his grandfather. I will add more over the next few days.
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